Have you ever felt the ground give way beneath your feet, leaving you to navigate the aftermath of a profound loss? The journey of grief is a unique and transformative experience. As a certified life coach, I've witnessed the myriad ways grief can color our lives, and it's my mission to support you as you find your footing once more. Our latest episode isn't just about understanding grief—it's about embracing the pain, the anger, and the eventual acceptance as milestones on the path to healing.
This time on Start Your Comeback Podcast, we delve into the unwelcome yet universal experience of grief. Together, we'll explore the well-known stages and the deeply personal twists and turns that your own grieving process might take. Grief doesn't adhere to a strict schedule or order, and neither will this discussion. Whether you're in the throes of loss or standing alongside someone who is, this episode is here to offer a compassionate voice and a gentle hand back to a life filled with new purpose and adventures. Join us as we confront the pain that demands to be felt and take our first steps toward recovery and renewal.
Have you ever felt the ground give way beneath your feet, leaving you to navigate the aftermath of a profound loss? The journey of grief is a unique and transformative experience. As a certified life coach, I've witnessed the myriad ways grief can color our lives, and it's my mission to support you as you find your footing once more. Our latest episode isn't just about understanding grief—it's about embracing the pain, the anger, and the eventual acceptance as milestones on the path to healing.
This time on Start Your Comeback Podcast, we delve into the unwelcome yet universal experience of grief. Together, we'll explore the well-known stages and the deeply personal twists and turns that your own grieving process might take. Grief doesn't adhere to a strict schedule or order, and neither will this discussion. Whether you're in the throes of loss or standing alongside someone who is, this episode is here to offer a compassionate voice and a gentle hand back to a life filled with new purpose and adventures. Join us as we confront the pain that demands to be felt and take our first steps toward recovery and renewal.
Is there a major life transition benching you? I know you may be asking what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those too.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast. I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Hi, welcome back. You're listening to episode 29. You're listening to episode 29.
Speaker 1:
In the last two episodes, we discussed the different ways we can be betrayed and how to walk through that betrayal. Obviously, the list is not exhaustive, nor is it complete. I kept it short for the sake of your listening ear. However, if you need to discuss betrayal, you can click on the link in my show notes to my calendar and schedule a time with me, but today I want to talk about a subject that goes hand in hand with betrayal. None of this is fun to talk about, but it is necessary.
Speaker 1:
I want to discuss grief with you today. I want to walk you through the stages of grief and help you understand them. You may already know them, but may know someone who doesn't, and this podcast will help them understand. You see, grief is an animal all of its own. It is deep pain and agony. I once read the book the Fault in Our Stars and there was a quote in there that haunts me to this day. The quote is this Pain demands to be felt. I have never felt a truer statement. You can push down, be in denial or simply compartmentalize your pain, but at some point it will work its way to the surface and demand to be let out. But at some point it will work its way to the surface and demand to be let out. So, as we dive into the stages of grief, please be aware that it may trigger something you need to deal with. It's okay and totally normal. Just please work through it.
Speaker 1:
This grief can come in many forms and for different reasons. Everyone from all walks of life and across cultures experience loss and grief at some point. Grieving doesn't come only from dealing with your own death or the death of a loved one. It can also come as a result of an illness, the end of a close relationship or even the end of a project or dream. Also, you don't need a valid reason to grieve. Everyone mourns differently. You could go through many intense emotions or you could simply not react at all. Both responses are valid and not uncommon. How much time you spend navigating the stages of grief also varies from person to person. It may take you hours, months or longer to process a loss and heal from it. You may not experience all the stages of grief in the order listed below. You could go back and forth from one stage to another. You may even skip all these emotions and process your loss differently altogether. The five stages of grief are supposed to serve you as a reference, not as a written rule.
Speaker 1:
Number one denial. This is a common defense mechanism. It may help you buffer the immediate shock of the hurtful situation. As an immediate reaction, you might doubt the reality of the loss at first. A few examples of this type of denial are 1. If you're facing the death of a loved one, you might find yourself fantasizing someone will call to say, hey, there's been a mistake and nothing really happened. Or 2. If you're dealing with a breakup, you might convince yourself your partner will soon regret leaving and come back to you. Or the third one if you lost your job, you might feel your former boss will offer you the position back after they realize they've made a mistake. Or it could be something else. But after this first reaction of shock and denial. You may be numb for quite a while, but at some point you could feel like nothing matters to you anymore. Life as you once knew it has changed. It might be even difficult for you to move on. This first stage of grief is a natural reaction that helps you process the loss in your own time. By being numb, you're giving yourself time to explore at your own pace the changes you're going through. Denial is a temporary response that carries you through the first wave of pain. Eventually, when you're ready, the feelings and emotions you have denied will resurface and your journey will continue.
Speaker 1:
The second step in the grieving process is anger. Feeling intensely angry might surprise you or your loved ones, but it's not uncommon. This anger serves a purpose. It might be particularly overwhelming for some people to feel anger because in many cultures, anger is a feared or rejected emotion. You might be more used to avoiding it than actually confronting it. During the anger stage of grief, you might start asking questions like why me? Or what did I do to deserve this? You could also feel suddenly angry at inanimate objects, strangers, friends or family members. You might feel angry at life itself. It's not rare to also feel anger toward the situation or person you lost. Rationally, you might understand the person isn't to blame, but emotionally, however, you may resent them for causing you pain or for leaving you. At some point you might also feel guilty for just being angry. This actually could make you angrier. Just try to remind yourself that underneath your anger is pain and even if it might not feel like it, this anger is necessary for you to heal. Anger might also be a way to reconnect to the world after isolating yourself from it during the denial stage, because when you're numb, you disconnect from everyone. When you're angry, you connect, even if through this emotion. But anger isn't the only emotion you might experience during this stage. Irritability, bitterness, anxiety, rage and impatience are just some of the other ways you might cope with your loss. It's all part of the same process.
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Bargaining is the next stage of grief, and that helps you hold on to hope. In a situation of intense pain, you might think to yourself that you're willing to do anything and sacrifice everything if your life is restored to how it was before the loss. During this internal negotiation, you could find yourself thinking about what if, or if only? What if I did x, y and z, then everything would go back to normal. If only I had done something differently to prevent the loss. Guilt might also be an accompanying emotion during this stage, as you, inadvertently, might be trying to regain some control, even at your own expense. All these emotions and thoughts aren't uncommon. As hard as it might feel, this helps you heal as you confront the reality of your loss.
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Just as in all the other stages of grief, depression is experienced in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to go about it, nor is there a deadline to overcome it. In this instance, depression isn't a sign of a mental health condition. Instead, it's a natural and appropriate response to grief. During this depression stage, you start facing your present reality and the inevitability of the loss you've experienced. Understandably, this realization may lead you to feel intense sadness and despair. This intense sadness could cause you to feel different in other aspects too. You could feel fatigued, vulnerable, confused, distracted. You don't want to move on. You're not hungry or not wanting to eat. Maybe you're not even willing to get out of bed in the morning and get ready, and maybe you don't enjoy some of the same things that you once did. This is all typically temporary and a direct response to your grieving process. As overwhelming as it may feel at this point, this stage is a necessary part of your healing journey. And finally, acceptance Reaching acceptance isn't necessarily about being okay with what happened.
Speaker 1:
Depending on your experience, it might be understandable if you don't ever feel this way. But acceptance is more about how you acknowledge the losses you've experienced, how you learn to live with them and how you readjust your life accordingly. You might feel more comfortable reaching out to friends and family during this stage, but it's also natural to feel you prefer to withdraw at times. You may also feel like you accept the loss at times and then move to another stage of grief again. This back and forth between stages is natural and a part of the healing process. In time, you may eventually find yourself stationed at this stage for long periods of time. That doesn't mean you'll never feel sadness or anger again towards your loss, but your long-term perspective about it and how you live with this reality will be different. Remember there's no deadline for grieving. How long it takes you to process a loss will be what it is for you, be different for me. Just remember that it's a normal thing to walk through the stages and go back through them again and again. You may or may not go through them in order, but it is key for you to be aware and recognize where you are. Grief is a difficult process to walk through, but the healing you receive brings you to a new place in life to begin again.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for being here. I'll see you next week. Join me next week as we talk about the misconceptions of grief. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week. Remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club. Thank you.