Coping with Heartbreak: Losing a Beloved Pet and Finding Hope

What happens when the one constant in your life suddenly disappears? This summer, I faced the heart-wrenching loss of my beloved dog, Andy, who had been my loyal companion since 2015. Andy wasn't just a pet; he was the friend I needed during a lonely post-divorce period, transforming my daily routine and filling my life with joy. In this episode, I recount the emotional journey of loving and losing Andy, and how his unexpected death on June 7th left a void I never anticipated. I'll share the bittersweet moments of our time together and the profound grief that followed his passing.

But that's not the only change I've navigated recently. An intuitive nudge led me to schedule a therapy session before I even knew why I needed it, a decision that proved invaluable when the storm hit. Join me as I explore the importance of mental health and the healing process. Whether you're grappling with your own transitions or seeking a reminder that you're not alone, this episode is filled with lessons on resilience, the struggles of moving forward, and the importance of never giving up.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Is there a major life transition benching you? I know you may be asking what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those too. Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast. I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Hi, welcome back. You're listening to episode 46.

Speaker 1: 1:03

If you were joining me last week, you heard me talk about not giving up. Well, I just want you to know I'm still that adamant about it. Don't give up. I've been dropping hints all summer about an episode where I would discuss all the transitions I've walked through this summer. Well, today's the day, I have walked through two major transitions this summer. One was very much a shock and the other one I knew was coming pretty soon. But let me just say this I have dreaded today. I have not wanted to do this episode. I have put it off and put it off, and yet here we are. It's now time.

Speaker 1: 1:47

I'd like to give you a little backstory to help you understand where I am and the irony of my story. Most of you've heard my story, especially if you've been listening for almost a year now that I've been doing this podcast. You know that I moved into my first apartment after divorce in 2014. Not only was I divorced, but I was also an empty nester. I've spoken about this in a previous episode, but I want to give you a quick highlight. You see, back then I had no one to come home to and talk about my day. It was the loneliest I've ever been. It was a difficult period of time. Those first six months were brutal. I hated weekends. I hated Fridays. I hated coming home in general because there was no one here to talk to. But I began talking to a couple of my close friends about maybe getting a dog. They were like, yes, get a dog. It won't necessarily eliminate the loneliness, but it might make it tolerable. So in March of 2015, I brought him home. His name was Andy and he was a border collie mix and just the best rescued dog I've ever met. He was kind to everyone, he loved everyone, he was house trained, lease trained and, best of all, he didn't bark unless there was danger. He grew to be 70 pounds. So you know he was more than just a border collie in there and he was mine. We traveled together, we hiked together, we ran from coyotes together and we were lazy together. I looked forward to coming home and it was the sweetest because we would always go for a walk. So all that to say, monday, august the 26th, is National Dog Day. I'm not going to go into all the details. I'm not going to go into all the details, but Andy got sick in May and there was nothing left to be done for him. So Andy left this world on June the 7th. Hearing me whisper I love you and you've been the best dog.

Speaker 1: 4:00

This grief has been harder than I anticipated. You see, I thought I would have him for at least four, five, six more years. But let me just back up just a second because I need you to see the full picture. One morning at the beginning of May, maybe the end of April, I was having coffee early one morning and I just felt it in my soul. I was like you need to see your therapist. So I reached out to make an appointment with him. The only time he had available was July the 15th and I was like I'll take it. There wasn't really anything going on in my life at that point. I just thought, you know, it's probably a good time to just check in and kind of get a feel for where you are.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Anyway, now going back, the loss of my walking and hiking buddy has been hard. Some days I keep thinking I just need to hurry home after work so that we can get our walk in, because he's been inside all day. Or if you're my age and you have to wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have to check to see which side of the bed he was on, so I wouldn't step on him. I still do that occasionally. It's getting better. And then just yesterday I was on Facebook and there was a memory of him playing with another dog. Let me just say grief is real and it hits you and it hits hard. So on Monday, in honor of Andy, I'll be thinking of him and wishing he were here so we could go for a walk.

Speaker 1: 5:34

The other transition I walked through was that I moved. I had been living with a roommate who is a very dear friend and I'm so excited for her. She and her boyfriend got engaged and then they were going to sell the house and start over fresh. Well, I literally found an apartment and moved. Three weeks after I lost my dog. I found an apartment close to my work, to my kids, to my friends, and really maybe it was a five-minute drive from where I was living. I find it odd, or ironic if you will, that I have now moved, after living with a roommate for two years, into an apartment by myself and just having lost my dog. So the fact that I had an appointment with my therapist booked before any of this happened and it was scheduled for after all of it happened is just a total God thing. I mean, really, I now come home to an empty apartment alone again. It has been an adjustment, for sure, but easier a little bit than 10 years ago. But I am processing this grief with my therapist and learning to walk through this transition again, because in a sense it's the same, only not so.

Speaker 1: 6:54

You may be asking yourself what is Toni doing to get through this walk of the shock of losing her dog and now living alone. Well, I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm reaching out, I'm talking to my kids and I'm talking to my close friends and I'm talking about Andy when I think about it and I'm just letting my people know I'm sad. I'm also leaning into some new friendships that bring me a lot of joy and laughter. I'm journaling and I'm processing through each stage. I still can't really go for a walk yet, but I know that day's coming. You see, regardless of the transitions we face, they all bring shock.

Speaker 1: 7:35

I have said this over and over there's shock involved, whether or not you knew it was coming, or, to a degree, or you didn't know it was coming at all. It's important to not bury your head in the sand and just walk through them, just keep asking what do I need to learn through this? What do I need to learn this time? Please just show me what I need to learn. So I have a question for you what are you walking through that you have found tough to talk about? What are you grieving right now? There are lots of you out there that are walking through something, or you may know someone who is walking through a major life transition. I would love for you to reach out and just let me know, because sometimes it's just nice to know that you have someone who's walking alongside you through this transition. But here's what I know whatever you do, don't lock it deep down inside. Talk about it, experience it and share it with someone or some ones who know you really, really well, because, at the end of the day, there's no judgment there. There's just a lot of love and a lot of understanding. Well, that's it for today.

Speaker 1: 8:56

Thanks for tuning in and listening to my transitions. I hope that you'll join next week as I begin a two-part series with my friend, dana Williams, as she discusses the shame and guilt of walking through a divorce and how she fought her way to healing. You won't want to miss it. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week. Remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club. Thank you.