Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock.
Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.
Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
Codependence in Cubicles: The Loyalty Paradox
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Have you ever found yourself questioning whether your workplace loyalty has crossed the line into simply being stuck? That gnawing feeling on Sunday nights, the constant daydreaming about being somewhere—anywhere—else, or the realization that your physical and mental health are suffering at the hands of your job?
This deeply resonant episode tackles the complex relationship between workplace loyalty and personal growth. We explore the fine line between healthy commitment and self-betrayal, offering clear signposts to help you recognize where you truly stand. From the subtle signs of stagnation to the unmistakable red flags of a toxic environment, we unpack the eight critical indicators that reveal when it's time to make a career change.
But this isn't just about knowing when to leave—it's about understanding the psychological barriers that keep us trapped in unfulfilling roles. We delve into how fear, comfort, and misplaced loyalty can transform our professional lives into emotional prisons rather than vehicles for growth. Through practical assessment questions and actionable steps, you'll gain clarity on whether you're thriving or merely surviving in your current position.
Whether you're experiencing that ceiling-hitting frustration, wrestling with Sunday night dread, or simply questioning if there's something more aligned with your values waiting beyond your current role, this episode provides both the permission and the practical roadmap to make that pivotal change. Remember—your job should be taking you somewhere meaningful, not leaving you parked in the driveway of unfulfillment. Download our free "Sound of You" tool from the website to help clarify your thoughts, and reach out for coaching if you're ready to create your game plan for a successful career pivot.
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Sound of You
Is there a major life transition benching you? I know you may be asking what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those too. Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast. I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Hi, welcome back. You are listening to episode 95.
Speaker 1:We are in a series right now on knowing when it's time to make a change. We are in a series right now on knowing when it's time to make a change. Last week we talked about loyalty and how it can sometimes cross the line into codependence. Today we're taking that same theme to a different arena. How do you know when it's time to make a change in your job? I teach 6th grade and before you start sending me sympathy cards, let me tell you I love sixth graders. Why? Because they are this perfect mix of awkward and awesome. They still think you know some things. They are still naive enough well, for the most part, to know they don't know it all. That right there. That's a coach's dream and, honestly, that's where we should all be, no matter our age or title. We don't know it all. If we ever stop being coachable, we stop growing.
Speaker 1:Now let me take a little detour for just a second. For years, my good friend Kim also my podcast coach has been telling me to track my podcast episodes and ideas using Excel. And for years I've said absolutely not. I can barely spell Excel, much less use it. I had my own way of tracking things. Then one day, maybe six, seven months ago, I decided to give in and I asked her to show me how she does it. Y'all. She lit up like a Christmas tree on Christmas morning. She had a whole template ready and when she walked me through it my jaw dropped. It was easy, it was organized and it was brilliant. Do you know what held me back all those years? Stubbornness and loyalty to my own thing, the fear of looking dumb, the fear of admitting I didn't know. Something Sound familiar.
Speaker 1:And that brings us back to today's topic. How do you know when it's time for a new job and when? Is it just stubbornness that's holding you back? Let's start with this truth we all need a job because we all need to pay our bills. That's real life, and if you're blessed enough to love what you do, hold on to that. But here's the thing your loyalty to your job can turn on you if you're not careful. I'm not telling you to quit because you had a bad day or because your boss got on your nerves or corrected you. Let's be honest, they probably got on everyone's nerves that day. I'm talking about patterns. I'm talking about paying attention when loyalty has crossed over into staying stuck. So how do you tell the difference? Okay, here are five signs of healthy loyalty.
Speaker 1:Number one you believe the mission. You actually care about the work your company does. It lines up with your values. Number two you're committed to success. You want to see the organization win and you give your best to make that happen. Number three you feel valued. You know that what you do matters. You're appreciated not just in words but in actions. Number four you have opportunities to grow. They give you the chance to learn, stretch and expand your skills, and you're taking those opportunities. And finally, number five you can go home at night without guilt. The job doesn't consistently drain your emotional, mental or physical tank. If that's your reality, man, congratulations. You have a great thing going.
Speaker 1:Now let's jump into some things and some signs that tell you it's time to leave, because here's the other side of the coin. Listen to this list and if it starts to sound like your Monday morning, pay attention. Number one you've hit a ceiling. You feel stagnant, unchallenged, like you've been parked in the same place for too long. Number two you feel invisible. No matter what you do, no one notices. Your skills are underused. You're not growing. Number three your values don't match anymore. Maybe you've grown, maybe they've changed. Either way, it feels like you're compromising something deep in your gut.
Speaker 1:Number four your health is paying the price. Stress, anxiety, burnout, headaches, that Sunday night dread it's not just part of the job anymore. It's eating away at you. It's eating away at you. Number five the environment is toxic. Gossip, distrust, backstabbing, constant negativity. If this sounds like junior high on steroids, you are in the wrong place. Number six the company is unstable. Leadership changes every five minutes, finances are shaky and no one seems to know what's going on. Number seven you're constantly fantasizing about being somewhere else. Not a vacation, just not here. And finally, number eight, this is the big one you dread work.
Speaker 1:If every morning feels like walking to your own funeral, it's time to take a hard look at what's next. There's a balancing act, you see. Let me say something important here Not every uncomfortable season is a sign to run. Sometimes you just need to push through and figure out what it is you're trying to learn or what you need to learn. Discomfort can be a teacher. It shapes us. So don't bolt at the first sign of frustration.
Speaker 1:But the flip side is loyalty shouldn't cost you your mental health, your physical health or your sense of purpose. You are not a laugher just because you've been there 10 years, 10 years in the wrong place, doesn't make you loyal. It makes you stuck. The key is to check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself these three questions Am I growing here? Am I valued here and am I proud of the work I'm doing here? Am I valued here and am I proud of the work I'm doing here? If you keep answering no week after week, that's not loyalty anymore. That's self-betrayal.
Speaker 1:So here's what to do. If you realize that it's time you get clear. In other words, write down what you're ready to leave. If you can't put it into words, you won't be able to explain it to anyone else. Make a plan. Don't quit tomorrow unless you've got a safety net. That's your six talking.
Speaker 1:Start putting out feelers. Update your resume, start networking. Don't burn bridges, no matter how bad it's gotten. Leave like a professional. You never know when those connections might circle back around. And, most of all, don't feel guilty from wanting more. You see, god wired us for growth, and sometimes growth means staying and digging in, and other times it means stepping out. And other times it means stepping out.
Speaker 1:If you find yourself dreading work, feeling stuck or watching your health spiral because of your job, it's time to pay attention. Your job is not your life. It's a vehicle, and if that vehicle isn't taking you where you want to go anymore, you don't just sit in the driveway and hope you get in another car. If today's episode has hit home, I want you to do this. I want you to take 15 minutes this week to sit down and really evaluate where you are. Are you loyal or are you stuck? And maybe you don't know how to listen to your thoughts?
Speaker 1:I would love for you to go to my website. I have a tool that will help you start to listen to you so that you can make these decisions with a clear head. It's called the Sound of you. All you got to do is drop your email address in there and it's downloaded immediately. Just click the button address in there and it's downloaded immediately. Just click the button. And if you need a sounding board for that next chapter that's why I coach let's talk about your game plan for a career pivot. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out here, you didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week. Remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
