Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock.
Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.
Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
Retiring TO Something, Not Just FROM Something
I would love to hear from you! Send a text!
Ready to retire but feeling uncertain about what comes next? You're not alone. That identity crisis of "Who am I now?" hits harder than most expect when contemplating retirement. This episode dives deep into the emotional side of ending your career—something rarely discussed in traditional retirement planning.
Drawing from my own experience leaving tennis coaching after 20+ years, I share the unexpected identity shift that comes when your career has been deeply intertwined with your sense of self. The key insight? You can't just retire FROM something; you need to retire TO something meaningful.
Through ten essential questions everyone should answer before making this life-changing decision, we explore burnout, fulfillment, adventure desires, financial readiness, health considerations, and your vision for what's ahead. We also unpack the complex emotional landscape of retirement—from the excitement and relief to the grief, loneliness, and fear of the unknown that may surprise you.
Retirement isn't an ending but a pivot point. The "now what?" moment isn't cause for panic—it's where the magic happens. This episode offers practical guidance for creating your "What's Next" list, emphasizing the importance of continued connection, growth and purpose. Whether retirement is imminent or still years away, these insights will help you prepare for one of life's most significant transitions with confidence and clarity.
Have you started thinking about what you're retiring TO, not just what you're retiring FROM? Visit my website at TonyThrash.com to learn about my upcoming book "Start Your Comeback" and get support for navigating major life transitions with purpose and passion.
Let's create your transition gameplan:
Book your discovery call
You can find me at:
Website
Facebook
Shock
Limbo
Re-Entry
Sound of You
Is there a major life transition benching you? I know you may be asking what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those too. Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast. I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Hi, welcome back. You're listening to episode 96 of the Start your Comeback podcast.
Speaker 1:The last few weeks, we've been talking about loyalty, how to know when it's time to leave a job or a relationship that no longer is working. Today we're tackling another big one how do you know it's time to retire? And let me tell you, retirement isn't as simple as hey, let's pick a date and stop working. There's a whole emotional ballgame attached to this decision, especially if you've been at your job for a long time. Leaving is never easy. Sometimes we get to go out on our own terms, exactly the way we dreamed, and sometimes the decision is made for us. Either way, you get benched. If you've been in your career a long time, you've likely built friendships, routines, a rhythm of life, and for many of us, that job becomes part of who we are. And when that's taken away, or when we choose to step away, there's a big identity shift that takes place. I'll be honest, I faced this myself when I retired from coaching tennis at the end of 2023. Over 20 years as a coach. Coaching was a part of my DNA and when I stopped, I had to ask myself who am I now? But you know what I realized? I realized I was okay because I had already started filling my life with new things that mattered. That's the key. You can't just retire from something. You need to retire to something.
Speaker 1:I've got 10 questions to ask before you ride off into the sunset. So here we go. Number one are you burned out? Do you dread going to work every single day? Has the passion left the building? Number two do you feel fulfilled? Are you just going through the motions? For example, I love teaching because it lights me up when a student gets it. That matters. I feel fulfilled in that.
Speaker 1:Number three are you craving adventure? Do you want to travel more? Do you want time with your grandkids or do you want to try new experiences? Number four finances. Do you have enough to retire? And no, none of us ever feels totally ready here. Are you debt free? Are your kids financially independent.
Speaker 1:Number five how's your health, your physical health? What about insurance? What's your plan If you lose insurance? How are you going to cover those medical expenses? Number six healthcare. Have you run the numbers for you and your spouse, if you're married? Number seven maybe you have.
Speaker 1:Technology fatigue has trying to keep up with new systems and processes become overwhelming. It may be a reason to retire. Number eight do you feel like life is passing you by? Are there trips, hobbies or family events you keep missing? Number nine has your job passed you by? Has it changed so much that you no longer feel capable or interested? And number 10, what's your plan for retirement? A bucket list isn't just cute, it's essential. How will you fill your days with purpose? When you take the time to answer these honestly, you'll get a clearer picture of whether you're truly ready to retire or whether something else needs to change first.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about the emotional toll, because this, right here, is where people get blindsided. Retirement will stir up feelings you may not see coming. You could have excitement and anticipation. The thought of hobbies and freedom and travel is energizing to you. There could be a ton of relief. No more office drama, deadlines or stress. There could be apprehension and worry have I done enough? Will I run out of money? And then maybe there's a sense of loss and grief. You're not just leaving a job, you're leaving a rhythm, a team and your purpose. Loneliness. Without those work friends, the silence can feel heavy. And finally, what about the fear of the unknown? Because sometimes change is hard, even when it's good change, you still don't know necessarily what's ahead. I talk about this in my new book, start your Comeback, which comes out in October. Go ahead and mark your calendar.
Speaker 1:Retirement isn't just a financial decision. It's a transition, one of the biggest transitions of your life, and transitions, if you've been with me for any length of time, come in phases. You have to navigate each one. I'm going to give you some straight talk right here. Don't retire alone in your head. If you're feeling anxious, talk to someone a coach, a counselor, a trusted mentor, someone who will help you sort through all the emotions that come with this big shift. And while you're at it, don't just stop doing things. Start doing things that will keep you connected and give you a new purpose Volunteer, be a mentor, take a class, travel, build a group around you that keeps you engaged, because here's what I know the people who retire well are the ones who keep growing. They keep learning and they keep connecting.
Speaker 1:I'll never forget the first morning I didn't have tennis practice. I sat there with my coffee, quiet house, and thought well, now what? What I didn't realize is that the now, what is where the magic is, because you get to decide what's next. You get to call new plays, just like I teach in my coaching and my book. And when you can see retirement not as the end but as the beginning of a new chapter, you start to feel the excitement outweigh the fear.
Speaker 1:So here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to answer those 10 questions, but I want you to be brutally honest with yourselves. They're important questions to ask. Number two, I want you to start a list titled what's next? What do you want to retire, to Make it specific. And finally, the third thing is I want you to talk to someone. Don't make this decision in isolation. Maybe you want to talk to your spouse, maybe you want to try therapy, a mentor, a coach. Just don't do it alone.
Speaker 1:Retirement isn't ending, it's just a pivot, because you still have a purpose. Your purpose doesn't end when you retire. You've been faithful, you've given your time and talent and now it's time to make sure the next season of your life is every bit as meaningful. You can do this. It's your life. Step into it and let me remind you Start your Comeback. My new book is coming this October. It's all about building a game plan when life throws you a transition, just like retirement. I'll give you practical steps to move from shock through limbo and back into the game of life with purpose and passion, into the game of life with purpose and passion.
Speaker 1:If you want to get on the list for pre-order, then go to my website and sign up at Tony Thrash, where you'll get all of the news and announcements coming to you soon. Until next time, keep showing up and remember the bench is no place to stay. Keep showing up and remember the bench is no place to stay. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash. Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club. Thank you.
