Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock.
Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.
Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse
More Candles, Less Chill: My Birthday vs. The Comparison Trap
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Stop letting the clock boss your confidence around. We turn a birthday week into a working blueprint for a comeback—one grounded in gratitude, courage, and small, repeatable steps. The theme is simple and strong: aging isn’t decline; it’s refinement. Instead of measuring ourselves against old photos or past versions, we reframe age as a data point that offers insight into what matters, who we trust, and what we won’t settle for anymore.
We start with the honest tension of seeing time move fast and the temptation to fear the next twenty years. Then we pivot to a steadier rhythm: thanking time for patience, recognizing that slow isn’t stuck, and choosing to live smarter rather than smaller. Along the way we share a three-question birthday journal you can do today: name three things you’re proud of, identify what you’re leaving behind (hello, perfectionism), and define what you’re growing into. From learning a new skill to surrounding yourself with finishers, this is about practical hope—small choices that add up.
You’ll hear stories about family, faith, and the quiet wins that often count the most—grandkids around the table, teaching with heart, and moving a creative project forward even when the timeline shifts. We call out the comparison trap, especially on social media, and offer language to replace performance with presence. If you’ve been waiting for permission to begin again, consider this your green light. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a review to help others find the show. Then tell us: what will you leave behind—and what will you grow this year?
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Sound of You
Is there a major life transition pinching you? I know you may be asking, what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those two. Welcome to the Start Your Comeback podcast. I'm Tony Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. And guess what? It's my birthday week. Now, before you roll your eyes and think, oh great, another person announcing their birthday week like it's a national holiday. Hear me out. I'm really not that person. I don't really need a parade or 50 Facebook messages from people I haven't talked to since 2012. But I do think birthdays, especially as we get older, deserve some reflection. So today we're talking about transitioning through aging. What it feels like when the candles start to multiply faster than my patients, and how to make peace with the process without losing my joy. There was a time when my birthday meant balloons and friends and parties and laughter and of course cake. But these days it's a little bit quieter, a little bit simpler, and just a time to reflect on what's next. And honestly, I'm not mad about it. I've learned that birthdays stop being really about parties and start being about my perspective. Because somewhere along the way, I shift from celebrating what's next to appreciating what's been. And that's not depressing, it's just kind of grounding, it stabilizes us in a way. So when you've lived some life, like I have, I mean, I'm gonna be somewhere in my 60s. You start seeing the value in sitting still for a minute and just asking yourself these three questions. What did this past year teach me? Who helped me grow? And who or what do I need to release before I head into the next one? So, yes, it's my birthday week, but it's also an inventory week, if you will. Because let's be real, the mirror doesn't lie. Some mornings I catch my reflection and think, who invited my mother to my bathroom mirror? I'm not even kidding about that statement. It's humbling, but it's also holy because that face staring back at me, she's seen some things. She's survived some things, heartbreak and loss, and possibly maybe a few bad haircuts along the way. But the wrinkles and the gray hair, which by the way is covered up, the soft spots, uh, they're not evidence of decline. They're just an they're evidence of resilience because we're not falling apart, we're just being refined. I tell my clients all the time, life will change your appearance long before it changes your assignment. Your assignments really don't change, but our appearance often does. I can't stop the clock, but I can stop letting it control my confidence. Now, since it's my birthday week, of course, the social media memories pop up. There I am at 30, at 40, pretending to have it all together. And last year, smiling but quietly questioning, Am I where I thought I'd be? And if you've ever scrolled on your birthday, you know the comparison trap is waiting for you like an unwanted party guest. And I'm talking about the comparison trap of where you were when you're 30 as opposed to where you are currently. But let me remind you, comparison has no business at your birthday party table, even if it's you comparing yourself to yourself. The number on your cake doesn't define your worth, it just proves you're still in the game. You've learned, you've grown, and hopefully you've started to care less about keeping up with people who aren't even running my race. There's a mindset shift that I've been practicing this birthday week. My age is not a deadline, it's a data point on this huge timeline of my life. And every year it gives me more information about who I am, what matters to me, and what I'm no longer willing to settle for. We don't get older so we can play it safe, we get older so we can play it smart. So when people say, Tony, you don't look your age, I just smile and say, Well, that's because I'm not living it either. Now, here's the thing: somewhere between the laughter, the cards, and the dinner plans, there's usually a quiet moment where I think, wow, time is moving fast. And trust me, it is. When I think about being 20 years down the road and seeing how my grandchildren grow up and how I want to be involved in their lives, it's moving fast. And I know that if I'm not careful, that thought will turn into fear, and then I start living in fear about what if, what is gonna happen over the next 20 years or so. But what if instead of fearing, and now I'm talking to myself, just thank time for teaching me patience, which still needs a lot of work. Thank you, the years, for showing me that slow doesn't mean stuck. And thank you for my age for helping me see what truly lasts. That's the kind of gratitude that steadies us when life feels uncertain. So if your next birthday is coming up, or it's this week, or you're in that, what am I even doing with my life stage? Take a deep breath. You're not behind, you're just becoming. And here's my birthday wish, and I hope it's yours too. I was on a phone call with a client the other day, and they were like, What can I get you for your birthday? And I was like, Nothing. And so when your birthday week turns up, you get the questions, what do you want? Honestly, I just want some peace. I want laughter with my family, my kids, my grandson, just around dinner table. I want to have courage to keep saying yes to the next chapter, even when I don't know how it ends, how it looks. And if I could give you a gift through this microphone, it would be the same peace, laughter, and courage. Because that's what this next season demands. We're not here to count the years, we're here to live them out well. Let's do a little birthday exercise together. Grab your journal, a cup of coffee, and just take a few minutes to answer these. Number one, what are three things I'm proud of from this past year? For me, they were not necessarily big things, they were small ones. Like the amount of time that I got to spend with my grandson this year, the fact that my younger son moved closer after being not quite an hour away. And then finally, just being able to do the things that I love, like teach sixth graders and love my friends well, and just learn a new skill. I learned to play mahjong this year. So those are those are three things that I'm proud of. They're so small and so simple. Number two, what do I want to leave behind as I step into this new year? My answer is probably always going to be fear, perfectionism. I've got a book coming out, and it's not coming out when I thought it was gonna come out. It's been pushed back a few months because I want it to be perfect, and not necessarily perfect, but there's some things that just need to change in it. So I'm gonna have to work through that and let part of that go because I still want it to be a benefit to you, the listener, and my readers, because there's no limit on this topic. And then number three, what do I want to grow into this year? There's some small things that I want to grow into. One being just having a clear mindset and just knowing where I'm headed, what I'm doing, and surrounding myself with the people that know how to get those things finished. Um, a habit. I am contemplating teaching myself how to crochet. It was something that my grandmother did when I was a kid, and I'm thinking about learning how to do that. So I'm gonna start walking toward that and then just taking that one small comeback step at a time. Just remember your comeback doesn't need a calendar date. But since it is my birthday week, let's go ahead and use it as a reason to start fresh. Getting older is underrated. You care less about fitting in and more about standing firm. You stop explaining yourself and start expressing yourself, and that's the beauty of having lifelong friends. You don't have to explain yourself because they know you, and they can read you like a book and they can tell you exactly where you are. I want to laugh louder and more often, and I want to learn to say no a little bit faster. Because when you do this, you start to see God's fingerprints over your years that you once thought maybe he was absent. He's been here the whole time. You see, that's the wisdom, that's growth, that's the reward of staying in the game long enough to see how the plays come together. So here's to another trip around the sun. Here's to some lessons learned, the laughter shared, and the courage to still come. I may not know what this next year holds, but I do know this. The clock's still ticking, and guess what? I'm still in the game. And if you're listening to this, guess what? So are you. So whether your birthday is next week or six months away, start celebrating your life now. Don't wait for cake, don't wait for someone to validate your value. Why? Because you woke up today, you're still growing, and that, my friend, is worth celebrating. And as for me, I'll be doing what I always do, reflecting, laughing, maybe eating some cake, and thanking God that He's not done with me yet. Come sit with me. Let's celebrate getting older, wiser, and stronger together. Because your best season isn't behind you, it's right in front of you. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash. Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
