You’re Not Starting Over; You’re Starting From Experience

Big life transitions can leave you staring into the mirror, wondering who’s looking back. We go straight to the heart of the comeback: rebuilding identity when the old labels don’t fit. From divorce to retirement to empty nesting and loss, we unpack a practical, faith-centered way to release what’s gone and build what’s next with clarity, courage, and small daily wins that actually stick.

We start by naming the moment: titles are tools, not your whole self. When roles shift, grief makes room for truth—your character, values, gifts, and God-given design are still here. Then we move into action. You’ll learn a simple set of questions to rediscover what brings you alive, how to follow peace as a compass, and why impressiveness is a poor substitute for alignment. We talk about choosing your new story on purpose, changing routines and boundaries to match your values, and rewriting your inner script with declarations like “I’m healing, I’m growing, I’m rebuilding.”

From there, we practice alignment over perfection. If you say peace matters, your calendar should reflect it. If you say you trust God, make space to listen. We stack small, powerful habits—kind self-talk, kept promises, curiosity without pressure to master, connection instead of isolation, and a daily win list—to rebuild confidence one brick at a time. By the end, you’ll have a weekly challenge to write your “who I’m becoming” statement and place it where you’ll see it, turning identity from an idea into a lived direction. Your life isn’t over; it’s under construction, and these tools help you build something true.

If this message resonates, share it with someone who needs to remember who she is, subscribe for more comeback tools, and leave a review to help others find the show. Then tell us: what’s your “I’m becoming…” statement today?

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Big Life Transitions
• 0:59 The Heart Of Comeback: Identity
• 1:41 Letting Go Of Old Labels
• 2:57 Reconnect With What Brings Life
• 4:46 Own Your New Story
• 6:27 Live In Alignment, Not Perfection
• 7:07 Small Daily Practices That Rebuild
• 8:26 Weekly Challenge: Who I’m Becoming
• 10:12 Little Things Build A New Life
• 10:59 Closing, Share, And Contact

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Is there a major life transition pinching you? I know you may be asking, what's next? What's my purpose? What if? Because I've asked those two. Welcome to the Start Your Comeback podcast. I'm Tony Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. So far, we've talked about the little things that hold you together, the small wins that keep you moving, and the habits that build your faith. And today we're talking about the heart of the comeback, rebuilding our identity. Because when your life changes, whether it's through divorce, retirement, empty nesting, loss, or just a major transition, you start to wonder, who am I now? And that is the beginning of the awareness of where you are in reality. And that awareness is when rebuilding begins. Because remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. So let's just jump in and let's talk about a few things that will help us to rebuild that identity. Number one, let's let go of all the old labels. When we go through a big change, it's natural to cling to the titles that used to define us. Maybe it's wife, husband, teacher, mom, coach, provider, CEO, whatever it may be. But when those roles shift or end, you're left staring at the mirror, wondering who is looking back. I've been there. I remember sitting in my kitchen after my divorce, coffee in hand, and realizing that the life I built, every title, every routine was gone. And what was left, well, that was just me. In that moment, I was terrified. But it turned out to be a holy moment because it's the moment I started discovering who God made me to be without all the labels attached. You're not losing yourself, you're just uncovering who you are. The you that's left after loss isn't broken, she's real, and man is she ready. Number two, reconnect with what brings you to life. When you're in transition, it's easy to forget what used to make you feel alive. You get so focused on survival that joy feels like a luxury. But rediscovering joy is a crucial part of rebuilding your identity. Ask yourself these questions. What makes me laugh again? What or who gives me energy? What used to light me up that I've stopped doing? And what new things scares me in a good way? Sometimes we think self-discovery is selfish. It's not. It's the beginning of the stewardshipness of your life that God has created you to be. Because God gave you specific passions and curiosities and desires for a reason. And then when you reconnect with them, you're honoring the design He put in you. For me, that looked like picking up a pen again. Because writing became the thing that helped me process who I was becoming. For someone else, it might be painting or volunteering, hiking or cooking. Whatever reminds you of that life can still be beautiful. Because follow what brings you peace. That's your compass. God is our compass. Follow him. Let him redesign and recreate in you what he's already put in there. Ask him to make you aware of all the things he's created you to be. Don't chase what looks impressive. Just follow what feels like an alignment with your soul. Number three, take ownership of your new story. And let me tell you, this is hard to do because those labels that you had before, they simply stick. And it's hard to adjust those. But at some point you have to stop asking, who am I now? And start declaring, this is who I'm becoming. You can't wait for someone else to validate your new chapter. No one can hand you your new identity. You have to choose it. You have to write it, you have to walk in it, and you have to believe it. That might mean changing your routines, your boundaries, or even your inner dialogue. I guarantee you it will change your inner dialogue. Because the truth is you become what you repeatedly say about yourself. So start speaking differently. I'm healing, I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm rebuilding. Because you're not who you were before, because you're not meant to be. This version of you has battle scars and wisdom, and that's a powerful combination. You see, your identity isn't discovered because God gave you that identity the minute that you were born, but now he's trying to develop it one decision at a time. Ask him to show you your identity and then start to believe in it one small step at a time. Because every small intentional choice is shaping your next chapter. Number four. When your identity starts shifting, life will test whether your actions line up with who you say you are. If you say you're walking in peace, but keep living in chaos, you'll feel that friction. If you say you're trusting God, but never pause to listen, you'll fill that gap. The goal isn't perfection. You see, it's alignment. Your outer world begins to match your inner convictions. You'll start saying no to what drains you and yes to what develops you. Because that's when life starts to feel a bit lighter. Not because it's easy, but because it's true. And number five, the little things that just rebuild your identity. Let's make it really simple. Speak kindly to yourself. Your internal voice shapes your external confidence. Keep promises to yourself because when you keep promises to yourself, yourself begins to build that identity and have that integrity built in. Stay curious. Try new things without expecting mastery. That one specifically is hard for me. I want to be good at it before I even try it. And that is a detriment to me because then I won't try anything new. So I'm learning to stay curious. Keep connecting, don't isolate while you're still trying to figure it out. And then celebrate the growth you can't yet see because it takes time. But remember your win list. Write those little things down because these small choices will quietly reintroduce you to yourself. And one day you'll catch a glimpse of the person you've become, and she'll surprise you. She'll be stronger, steadier, and sure of who she is in God's eyes. Now here's your challenge for the week, and it's a good one. I want you to write a who I'm becoming statement. So grab your journal and write this out. I'm becoming a woman who blank. I want you to finish that sentence. Then write a few more, maybe. I'm becoming a woman who trusts God more than her fears. Or I'm becoming a woman who sets boundaries without guilt. Or I'm becoming a woman who lives in peace and not panic. Put it somewhere you'll see it every day. The refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror. Because identity isn't about who you were, it's about who you're becoming. You can't build a new life with an old identity. So speak the new one out loud until your soul starts to believe it. Transitions have a way of stripping us down to what's essential. And while that can feel terrifying, it's also where transformation happens. You're not starting over from scratch. You're just starting from what you've experienced. Every little act of courage, every quiet win, every faithful habit, it's been building this version of you all along. Your comeback story isn't about going back to who you were. It's about finally becoming who you were meant to be. As we wrap up this Little Things Matter series, I want you to remember this. The little things aren't just background noise, they're the building blocks of your new life. If this series has encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who needs to remember who she is. Keep riding your daily wins and adding to your faith file. And as always, remember, your life isn't over. It's just under construction. Please keep showing up for the little things because they're building something beautiful, and that is you. I'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. I don't take it for granted that you're here. You didn't listen by mistake. If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash. Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock. Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback. I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music. You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.